7days7authors

tuesday- left overs- sam

why didn’t I tell you I loved you then
when we were lying in bed, our bodies touching

why didn’t I tell you,
when you brush the hair at the nape of my neck
it makes my entire body shiver
like it does when the leaves change,
yellow and than a bold red, the oak tree outside your window
where we kissed and you felt under my skirt
touched my thighs with your fingers
felt me, in me
you know how quickly i grow cold
but it’s a good chill:
warms me inside.

why didn’t i tell you then that you are my best friend
when we were sitting on the wet ground
after the cold rain had come and crashed our picnic, 
tuna salad on soggy rye and soaked potato salad:
still delicious with you there.

why didn’t i say all the things that are still inside me
aching to be set free
aching to be heard
by you
(only by you)

Why?

because i was scared
i saw your eyes and they screamed of pain
i knew your heart had suffered before
i knew your hands were not ready to be held
even if i wanted to hold them
(desperately. Desperately wanted too)

i didn’t want to rush you
i didn’t want to frighten you away
i didn’t
didn’t want
no

and so i waited
and waited

waited some more.

and now?

(nothing)