7days7authors

Wednesday - Vampire Bees - Brandon

    I get that you don’t have a ton of time, so let me make this story short. Listen, I’d be the first to tell ya that Vampire Bees don’t exist – but they do. And they killed an entire warehouse full of people. I know, ‘cause I was the only survivor. Yah, I know, I don’t look like much; a legless, armless stump of a body set in a motorized wheelchair. But I like my wheelchair and I still got my looks. I’m a handsome guy – minus the limbs. Fucking vampire bees.
    It was two years ago. I was working with a solid crew at a FedEx warehouse two hours outside of Vegas. The town’s called Hurricane, but the warehouse was three miles from anything else in the town.  The warehouse was the size of four football fields. Just a huge structure filled with the comings and goings of the entire world – mostly Ground packages filtered and routed throughout the west coast. There was a crew of thirty-five men. No women. Wait, there was one woman named Nancy who handled the paperwork - she didn’t work muscle. She’s dead now. They’re all dead now.
    I was throwin’ packages that were to be sent to Utah. A buddy of mine, Jack, started talkin’ to me about a beehive outside of gate 2. He told me that some of the guys were puttin’ down bets to see who could nail it with rock. The guy who knocked it down got a hundred bucks. So I go out there and I see a bunch of dudes chuckin’ stones at a huge hive. I know about insects. I was a big insect lover as a kid and it never really left my insides. The hive didn’t look right to me. It didn’t look like any hive I’d seen before. But we were talking about a hundred bones and I had a good throwing arm.
    I picked up a baseball sized rock and hurled it at the hive. I whacked it good and the sucker fell straight to the ground. It burst open and sure enough a swarm of angry little buggers were homeless. You have never seen something funnier than a group of big football playing sized dudes run like fairies away from a bunch of tiny little bees. About ten of us were screaming like little girls and ran back into the warehouse. We let the garage door gate slam down, but it wasn’t quick enough.
    The bees got Charley while we were runnin’. They surrounded him. I knew he’d be gettin’ some horrific sting action, but I could never imagine what happened next. These bees ate him alive. They gnawed off his limbs and they sucked his blood. We all stood bye and watched. One of the guys, Frank, I think it was, tried to rescue Charley - he ran at the bees with flailing arms - but half the bees went for him. Frank’s whole body was devoured. The bees didn’t even leave any blood. They literally sucked the last drips off the concrete warehouse floor.
    Listen, I know you don’t have much time, so let me skip ahead. The rest of us thirty-three men and Nancy, used everything we could get our hands on to fight off these bees. We opened parcel after parcel. There were a lot of west coast people who didn’t get their packages that week. One after another, my co-workers, I call them war brothers now, were beaten by the bees.
    It was in the middle of everything, about three hours into it, that I ripped open a package and found a child’s toy microscope set. By that time, we’d learned how to fight back and there were a few dead bees lying around. I scooped one up and crushed him under some slide glass and shoved him in the microscope. Well let me tell you, I couldn’t believe my eyes. That sucker, was a tiny little vampire with bee wings. I mean to tell you, that what we thought were killer bees, were actually tiny little vampire men, dressed in black suits and capes, with window’s peaks and fangs and bee wings. I half expected the little fucker to talk in some Transylvanian accent, but he was dead, so that wouldn’t have made much sense.
    Anyways, about five hours into it all, everyone but me was vampire bee food. I had to escape, so I tried my best to out run the bees. I ran about a mile before a few of them caught up with me. They gnawed at my legs. It was the most painful thing I’d ever experienced. Fuck, it hurt. There were only a few of them, so it took them awhile to feast. After ten or so minutes they finished off my right leg. I had to drag my buffet of a body through the desert sand. One and a half miles more and they got my other leg and left arm. When they were almost done with my right arm, they keeled over. They just plain fell to the ground - dead bees. And there I was, a stump of a body, in the middle of the desert.
    I don’t remember anything after that, but I woke up in the hospital with not much more than this smile. After a few weeks of surgery, here I am. I’ll tell you the whole story when you have more time. I left out the good parts. You should’ve seen the way Tex, his real name was John, but we called him Tex. You should have seen the way Tex fought off those bastard bees. And Nancy, well she gave it the best shot there was. She made me more proud than anyone. I loved that girl. I’ll tell you it all later, when you have more time. Fucking vampire bees.

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