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Monday - The Walking Coma - David McGovern

The walking coma? Boy, yeah. Yeah I know the walking coma. Shit, yeah, I know it. I seen men with it. Women too! Boy, yeah, you don’t want that. No, no no boy. Boy no. Yeah, the walking coma. I had it too. Yup, yeah. Man, shit I had it. You get everything, you get it. When that walking coma sets in you don’t see nothing but the truth and shit, it is so simple. Don’t nothing matter. It is just there, right in front of you. You can’t do anything but walk straight for it man, but you can’t go too fast, you might scare that truth. That is why the coma sets in. You need to take your time man.

So, shit, yeah, I had the walking coma a few years back. I start strolling toward it and I am a cart horse with the blinders on man. Fucking blinders. I am looking for that carrot, I WANT to be lead down that racetrack, down those wheel ruts. So I’m looking for that carrot, I think I make out a string or something, but, shit, nothing. The edges of everything go gray, I dim everything, hoping that orange carrot can stand out on the monochrome backdrop. Man, I am telling you, when it all goes gray there is NO orange, just more gray.

So I am wandering, I am looking I am walking. I am the walking coma. Then it is there man, right there, a few yards away, it is the fucking truth man. I am calm. It all makes fucking sense. I guess it is like dying, you know, they say “being at rest”. You ask me a question right then, right at that moment man, and shit, I would know the answer. Ask me to name the French Royalty in order from tallest to shortest and man, I’ll do it. Ask me the cubic volume of Venus, and shit, I know that too. Ask me what your favorite color is, and man, I may not know but I bet you I get your second favorite.

So there is the truth right, in all this fucking gray. I still shouldn’t run boy, no no. I cannot run. Physically I am able, you understand? But the truth is a doe man, I scare that shit and off it goes, gone man, probably forever. So I am walking straight up to it. Truth has got its ears twitching, yeah man truth has got ears, each one going in a separate direction. I’m close now man, shit am I close, I can smell its breakfast on its breath man.

Then my knee starts hurting, I hear it creaking and popping with every step. Shit, man, now I know truth heard me cause its ears stop twitching. I lose some of its outline in the gray man. Shit shit right? So I start walking faster, but damn it all man, shit. Too fast right? Truth fucking fades away man. I stretch out my hand at the last place I saw its faint outline man and shit man, it’s gone. Nothing there! Nothing man. Then all the colors are back man. I hadn’t noticed before but the noise was gone too, but its back now. It is roaring in my damn ears. I’m getting a headache, I’m getting dizzy. Shit man, I don’t even know where I am. Everything is so bright and colorful it is goddamned depressing. Man, shit, man you know? Shit man, yeah I know the walking coma. I can’t wait boy, can’t wait. Lightning don’t strike twice right man, but shit, if it did …